Melodraca

Well, I kinda dropped off the face of the Earth here - But I just want to say that I'm still active and I'm not leaving the site or anything! I'm on a pretty big hiatus right now and... honestly, I'm not sure when I'll be off. I'm hoping it'll be within the next few months though. This wasn't a voluntary choice exactly, I haven't been able to do digital art for over a year now and I can't even begin to describe how stressful and upsetting this has been. I suppose I need to lay down some backstory first - moved out of my parents' house right after I graduated to live with my best friend in another province, and to rent out a basement suite with them. I left a toxic environment, but having moved hundreds of kilometres away from my family and friends had a bigger effect on me than I expected. For a few years I was in one of the worst periods of depression in my life - I'd been tossed into adulthood with very few supports aside from my friend, who was arguably in a worse state than me. We ate nothing but junk food and soda, and I only left the house when it was absolutely necessary - in fact there were periods where I went full weeks without leaving the basement. The suite became dirty and without the energy to maintain it, we were trapped in an endless cycle. This basement has few windows that can open, and the one that does lets spiders in. The floors are porous, stained concrete. It's flooded down here about three times now. There is no bathroom or kitchen down here. And it's extremely small. And here's the cherry on top - in combination with my lack of exercise and the broken furniture I had to use, I developed chronic muscular pains. I'd sit on a half-sunken couch for hours bent over my laptop, and then I'd go to sleep on a tiny mattress with a massive dent in the middle. It started as occasional bad flare-ups, that grew more frequent until my body would flare up at the slightest aggravation. So I made the decision to pause my art. I decided that until I've moved and gotten a proper desk I won't draw. This space is so small there's no room for a desk, and moving furniture is extremely difficult and inconvenient, so we can't get a desk in here. This choice was extremely difficult, but I'm finally prioritizing my health. I don't want to put myself in pain for the sake of art. I don't want to kill my passion or cause further damage to my body. It was only around 2020, in the midst of... well, you all know what's been going on of course, that we started turning things around. I was approved for the Persons With Disabilities financial assistance program after submitting a lengthy description of my physicial and mental health which probably made the person processing my report say "Good lord this guy needs help", and I've been (slowly and roughly) transitioning my sleep schedule from 7 am-4 pm to a slightly more reasonable 2 am-10 am, and we've actually been cooking with *actual* food. No more hot pocket and cookie dough and ramen for dinner, we're eating like kings - fresh veggies and meats, meals that hit all of the food groups (we still eat the food above for occasional little snacks though, heheh) And now we're here - we've been trying to move single July last year, with very little luck. But we haven't lost hope yet! Our situation has been more promising recently and we're hoping that soon we'll be living somewhere where we'll be able to give adulthood a second try. I'm only 22. And with better furniture and physical therapy, I think I'll be able to get my life back soon. Whew. Thank you to anyone who actually read this whole ramble! I just felt like it'd be fair to let everyone know why I just suddenly stopped posting. Once I've moved, I will come back into art full force, and that's a promise. Oh yeah, and I've started going by Gabe/Gabriel now. I don't know if I mentioned it on here, but I thought everyone should know ^^' All the best! (Enjoy my freshly chopped butter for a journal image because I didn't know what else to put there)